There was a time, not to long ago though, when I thought I’m not good enough. I used to think: "yeah, I write some music, sounds pretty good, but I don’t think it's good enough. I don’t think people are gonna like it. X composer is better than me that is why he is successful, or Y composer has a multi-million dollar recording studio...and so on”. I was a very capable young man at finding excuses to disrespect myself and the gift from God, my talent for music. In 2011 Norway’s Got Talent arrived in my life. This was the ultimate gift from above and it was meant to convince me of who I am and to wake me up from this eternal whining and complaining, self pity and my own mental abuse. I was 33 years old. I was poisoning myself with bad thoughts and I associated sick, uninformed, culturally depraved and completely non talented A&Rs and their shitty record labels with gods, almighty authorities in the music industry. I thought that if they say “No, we don’t need your music, It does not have A HOOK, it doesn’t make me leave my seat and dance...” they must be right. I mean….they are the fucking A&Rs. I can not believe how stupid I was back then. Well, my friends musicians, now it is time to share with you that I WAS SO FUCKING WRONG that makes me sick even thinking about how many good years I’ve wasted listening to all kinds of people telling me what I can and I can not do. I was so wrong about my music that I did not even want to participate in Norway’s Got Talent. Thank God for Tor Arne, my friend/boss who enlisted me in the contest. I remember how bad I was affected by this negative thoughts about me and my worth. I was feeling sick, powerless and panicked when I heard that this guy made the online application on my behalf for NGT. A bit later I remember being in line waiting for my turn in the first audition stage of the contest. I was thinking that all those Britney Spears and Bon Jovi wannabes are better than me because they are about to sing the “main stream” music. What chances do I have? A classical-contemporary music composer, piano and orchestra, with no precedent in any Got Talent show history on this Earth. Imagine how emotionally confused I was if after literally 18 years of strong academical background I was considering myself unworthy for the music industry. Let me tell you this first: I was not the best in school, I was not interested in the best academic results in college because I always wanted to compose and perform my music. So Bach’s personal and professional life didn’t feel too attractive to me at that time. But I had the best teachers and amazing colleagues and I learned how to become who I am today by learning a little bit from everyone around me. Even if I was in the musical interpretation department in college I was also taking “offline and off the record” classes in electronic music composition . My dear friends musicians, actors, painters, builders, rally drivers, dirt bike riders, veterinarians, poets, cowboys or whatever else you choose to be and to do with your God Given Talent: Screw Them All! No one can tell you what you can and you can not do. No fucking A&R can tell you "your music is not worth their precious time”. You can answer: “At least I have music in me. What the heck do you have?” Go out there! There’s cdbaby.com- the greatest music platform for all: professionals or amateurs. Make your music, master it, send it to them and get it out there. If you have 100 friends on your social media listening to you complaining, imagine how many you can get who can listen to your music. Go and be bold, be brave, take praises, receive the rejections too, be the best of what you can do and insist. Break down the walls in front of you. GO GET THEM TIGER! If you love yourself, do it! if you hate your life, DO IT! If some people reject you, fine, go look for more people and JUST DO IT! A few will accept it and then your fanbase will grow. People who are alike will find each other on this big blue planet Life is teaching us tough lessons in all kinds of circumstances. The important thing is to NEVER GIVE UP and just DO IT! This should be your holy mantra: Sing, play, write, record, master, post on the internet & say: ”I’m the best at what I do, No one can do my music better than me, I am enough!” REPEAT!
I dedicate this thoughts to all the crazy people out there, all the rejected and never acknowledged, to all who break barriers and stay out of the box, to the bold, to the jokers, to all the beautiful minds and brave souls. I am one of you, I will always be and here it is, I’ll say it anyway: I don’t give a fuck about mainstream stuff. I love myself the way I am. I am enough!
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